News of the Tweet: Necessary Evil

Wade objects, Bronson is dead, man jam showers and zero boobies.

By Seb Kemp

I don't own a TV, nor do I wish to. However, the internet and all its hording pirate sites allow seemingly unlimited access to the few bits of TV worth watching. Recently I have been strung into watching Game Of Thrones which, if you aren't aware of this book-turned-TV show, is based in a fictional, pseudo medieval world where brother-sister loving kings and queens try to out do each other by either doing each other or running them through with a steel blade. The whole show is actually very boring, totally unbelievable, and full amateur dramatics. However, I find myself tuning in (or at least scrolling the pop-up laden websites) for the next episode. I can't understand why, but the above tweet by Wired got me thinking, 'Do I watch it just for the scenes of naked whores, the orgies and the flashes of boobies that don't really have anything to do with the plot?'

Furthermore, this got me to thinking about what is necessary. Why is it that 901 million of us feel having a Facebook account is necessary? Wade Simmons has a Facebook account because he was told it was necessary. He rarely uses it and he doesn't really engage with it, however, there he is, on the web. Wade doesn't have a Twitter account though and he resists all pressure to get one. In this day and age, it isn't just Wade's ability to still rip and shred that sets him apart from the rest of his peers, but that he feels confident in his own 'brand' that he keeps Twitter at bay.

<embed src="" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="300"></embed>

I applaud Wade for sticking to his guns. It works for him not to be tweeting. He is busy enough and gets his message out in so many other ways. However, this doesn't work for everyone and everything. I'm not saying in the future heroes like Wade will be made by the size of their social media clout but traditional hero making avenues have changed.

The web appeared so fast and continues to morph, alter and radically reorganize our relations with information, communication, and marketing. Ten years ago email addresses were still newish and websites were messes of Flash. Since then we have been run through the mill with MySpace, Friends Reunited, Bebo, Blogspot, Facebook, WordPress, Twitter and…well, there is and has been others. Even in the short lifecycle of the internet as something more than a tool but a minute-to-minute, ever connected, symptom of the self-generated media society, we have seen huge shifts. The internet is in its infancy – or perhaps we are the ones crawling through it wetting our diapers – and it changes so fast that any basket we throw all our eggs into might evaporate the next minute. Wade Simmons doesn't want to buy into the new-now only for it to be worthless tomorrow. However, waiting for the right internet to turn up isn't wise. I doubt the internet will ever allow us to be static and the money motive will drive the cyber lords and digital engineers to keep reinventing the new-now. In the meantime we just have to keep up and jump on every bandwagon there is.

Santa Cruz's much loved but often neglected blog, 104 Bronson, was officially killed off this week However, it's place is 104 Bronson, the Tumblr . At the recent Sea Otter Classic Mike Ferrentino actually broke his silence and explained the reasons for switching from WordPress to Tumblr. It was hotter than a chilli flavoured Mila Kunis shaped hot dog when I spoke to the man himself and I forgot everything he said. Luckily, he published his thoughts about the changing face of the internet and how form should fit the means over on the new look, picture book 104 Bronson.

I saw this tweet and chuckled. Then a day or so passed and I was still thinking about it. I wanted to know whether it was a joke or if it was true.

It wasn't true. He has actually produced two tweets not one. He does have over 3,000 followers and the two lonely tweets were sent in mid August last year, but that doesn't matter, people still want to hear what he has to say. Or doesn't say.

It got me thinking that perhaps Wade should just sign up for a Twitter account, make a few shout outs (probably to fellow big timers who actually do have a propensity to tweet incessantly and will give him a retweet), then just get out of the game and let the followers role in. Then each time sponsors or supporters ask him how well integrated he is with social media he can just show them his stats. Some of them anyway.

I should also point out that I ended up following Julien Absalon and refollowing Brian Lopes after this little exploration. I figured I may as well follow Absalon because at least he isn't going to stuff up my Twitter fed with nonsense. I realized this week that I may not be following enough people. Seeing as though Monday mornings are about deciphering the social mediated world of mountain bikes, I really should be following a more diverse range of people. I don't have many rules as to the system of following people, but my only rule is that I unfollow anyone who clutters my fed with tweets that are just dull status updates or sound like they are talking their way through their day. I also don't care about peoples feelings of their own life. Seriously, why should anyone care if it has been a hard day in the office? This should be the cue for an example, however, that would be cruel.

Messere occasionally walks the line of public boredom with his tweets but then he comes out with gold. There is nothing as funny as pre-pubescent desperation dressed up an energy drink hat rolling with a cocky swagger.

I prefer to follow people for their ability to share in interesting artifacts they find on their personal internet odyssey. Like this video of simulated ejaculation.

Some status updates are worth hearing. Especially if it is the kind of archaeology that helps to uncover the joys of radness that is stolen from us each year by Mother Nature's ejaculate. 18 days and counting.

I also like following people like Stikman because that just say what they see (in reference to this story). These are the best tweets. Entertaining and humorous.

Then there is Rob Warner. It is always interesting to hear what he has to say. Looks like he is playing internet games too.

But still, is having social media status necessary? Is social media like a tree falling in the woods? If you aren't there to read the tweet, did the tweet really matter? More so, if it doesn't happen on Twitter, did it even really happen?