News of the Tweet: Expensive Holidays

Where Did This Come From? What Does This Mean? Can Hans Save Us?

By Seb Kemp

OK, so it is Tuesday morning and I've only just sat down to compile the News Of The Tweet. Up here, north of the 49th, Monday April 9th was a holiday so I decided to take a day off the laptop and slip into the local customs. And I have to say, the plaid fits well.

World Happiness Report

Of course, the world didn't stop turning. Magazines still got printed, press releases were tossed about like ticker tape on that other big holiday, and tweets kept chirping. I'm a rogue freelancer so I make my own hours. Perhaps not the shrewdest thing to do when a steady paycheck is a thing of wonder and miracle, however, sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Fortunately, that is one advantages to being footloose and fancy-free. However, the power of subscription is not something someone who sits around in a lonely cell, in his pants, breathing in his dog's farts can grant.

That's right, the same week Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) reached 20 Million followers I (@2_FLAT) reached one thousand. An achievement that I celebrated by walking through downtown Vancouver waving to everyone. Of course, on the street no one knew me or cared what I said. In fact, it turns out that in the real world if you act like your twitter account people just think you are a derelict who talks to himself in clipped sentences and mutters obscure references in a indecipherable code.

@656Grand was not the only one to have communication problems this week.

My favorite saying at the moment is if your idea really is a good one then you won't have to worry about people stealing it because you will have to shove it down their throats before it is accepted. This is what a freelancer says to himself when story pitches to magazine editors are left unanswered.

This week saw the release of The Hunger Games. A film (also a book for anyone with more time than tweets) about…actually, I have no idea. One minute life was as it always had being and the next was a storm of The Hunger Games hysteria. When I went to the grocery store to buy chips everywhere I turned people, adverts and magazines were talking about The Hunger Games. Then when I got home with my chips I saw that the internet had turned into a giant advert for The Hunger Games. Forgive me for being slow on the uptake perhaps but where did this all comes from?

I love The Creative Finder (@findcreatives) for regular doses of the weird, wacky, interesting and inspiring internet finds. Such as this trailer for the Dark Knight Rises movie made entirely by stop animation Lego models.

Talking of great adverts, The Coastal Crew (@TheCoastalCrew) announced their new sponsor and to mark the big deal dropped a short video with a song that that I can't get out of my head. Although not something I would listen to at home, it is so furious it made me taste blood on a hill climb yesterday. The riding actually makes me yearn for the opening of Whistler Bike Park so I can mech-check my way down A-Line again.

Talking of political correctness (two steps back, keep up) Hans Rey (@HansNoWayRey) continues to be one of my favorite mountain bikers of all time. I hope the feature is a how-to on endos and the search of the elixir of life. There has to be an explanation for his longevity and global explorations.

Biking is dangerous, we all know it, but it has held us captive to its allure from the first scraped knee and perhaps all the way to the grave.

The report details the studies that have found women, as well as men, who cycle a lot, suffer from increased numbness of the genitals. Read the New York Times article about the latest reports to understand more, but simply put, researchers found having handlebars lower than the seat increases numbness of the pelvic floor. There are so many ways I could trip up by saying more, so to save face I'm going to move on.

The one woman in cross country racing who actually makes me pay attention to that silly game is moving on from racing. You can read the whole blog post here. Personally, after reading that I can't wait for the book.

Oh, I suppose it makes sense to talk aboutFacebook buying Instagram for a cool one billion dollars and the CEO of Instagram walking away with a tidy half billion dollars . However, nothing makes sense so just read what Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerburg wrote on his wall. I bet that kind of paycheck doesn't come along by taking days off.