Web Monkey Speaks: Think Your Job Sucks?

It could be worse. You could be giving this elephant a hand job.

By Vernon Felton

In these tough times, those of us with jobs should be happy to have jobs at all.

Fair enough.

If, however, you aren’t feeling overly grateful that you’re still punching the clock, you can bet that there are worse ways to be employed.


Global Post recently ran an article on the seven worst jobs in the world. There are some peaches on the list of crap jobs, including Foxconn factory worker (18 workers in the Shenzhen, China mega-factory committed suicide in 2010 and new employees are asked to take a no-suicide pledge because, you know, that kind of thing always looks bad in the annual report), Emergency Fukushima power plant technician (that one is pretty self-explanatory, given the whole cloud-of-radiation situation), and print journalist (ouch).

When it came time to select the absolute worst job, however, the nod went to the guy who collects elephant semen for a living. The clip below is from an old BBC report and the quality is a bit shoddy, though that might be for the best since it’s not exactly something you want to see in high definition.

On one hand you might be thinking, At least this job doesn’t require that I attend an expensive college in order to obtain a whole new range of abstract skills. True, most of us have the hairy-palm/going blind activity down pat already and don’t need to toil for four years at a university in order to master the procedure. Elephant sperm collectors the world over, however, will tell you that it’s not quite so easy.

Apparently, a bull elephant requires a different type of stimulation to get the job done–the kind, and I’ll attempt to put this tactfully–that requires you to insert your arm, up to your shoulder, in an angry elephant’s ass.

If you try to get the job done the traditional way, you, as the video points out, can get knocked out by the elephant’s…oh, just watch the video, this is getting hard to explain.