Left Field: Black Friday Havoc

Across the nation, women stampede in rush to score the frilliest thong

By Vernon Felton

Thanksgiving is always a somber, reflective time. We count our blessings. We’re thankful for family and friends. We take a minute out of our hectic, petty lives to see the big picture and recall what matters most…. and then we gird ourselves for the battle that lies ahead.

Black Friday.

If Thanksgiving is our national moment of reflection, the day after is the unofficial holiday of bludgeoning our neighbor in that quest to score the perfect waffle iron, teddy bear or, in this case, pair of crotchless panties.

Ah, nothing says “sexy” quite like a mob of women scratching out one anothers’ eyes in an attempt to find a bra that lifts and separates just so. Victoria’s Secret stores were the site of stampedes in malls across the country. Kansas City, Modesto, Oak Park…chaos had a strangely sweet scent yesterday in all those cities and many more (it was probably all the bath soaps).