Gear: Honest Tea


A friend of mine once told me that he helped two girls quit drinking soda by submerging a pork chop in cola. After one week, the pork chop had dissolved and the only thing left was sludge and two disgusted ladies.

I don’t know if the story is true or not, but I do know that Honest Tea plus a pork chop does not equal pork soda. Honest Tea is all-natural, so it won’t rot your teeth, and if you put a pork chop in it, all you have done is wasted a top-shelf beverage.

Honest Tea is tea in a bottle, plain and simple. It isn’t a container of liquid crack made for big-rig drivers on an all-night haul, and it isn’t a sugary candy drink for kids. Some of the 11 varieties of Honest Tea are caffeinated and some are not, but none of them have ingredients you might find on a shopping list for a meth lab — no ephedrine, no ma-huang and no sodium benzoate.

Honest Tea is also available in biodegradable tea bags that are filled with whole leaves for the best flavor and come with a classy tag made of tea paper.

I like the ingredient list for Lori’s Lemon Tea: spring water, organic black tea, organic lemon juice and organic lemon verbena. I don’t know what verbena is, but if it’s organic and involves lemons, then it must be OK. Whatever it is, Lori’s Lemon Tea tastes great and has no calories.

None of the tested flavors were disappointments, and none had more than 17 calories per serving. Each bottle has a unique and artistic label and comes with words of wisdom printed under the cap. My bottle of Lori’s Lemon Tea came with a quote from the heavy-hitter of insight, Fat Albert: “He who throws mud only loses ground.” — Jim Fitzgerald