BOB life.

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By the boys of Union Production Co

At the onset, you’re sucked in by the promise of adventure and experience – sights, smells, fresh faces – and on balance, these will be positive. However on any trip there are moments, and often full days, when your patience and outlook are challenged.

Today was one of those days.

Trucking and somehow still smiling.

What makes one day a complete one-eighty from the one previous? Why was yesterday all sunshine and lollipops whereas today was shit on a stick? Today – after being in the saddle all day, on the road, while absurdly big trucks tried to turn us into pavement pizzas and the Nanaimo black hole tried to evaporate us – we feel a little deflated.

We didn't leave the road today. This is just road grime.

Here is the list of the less glamorous parts of being on the road:

Grit in teeth
Grit in eyes
Grit in chamois
Sitting in a chamois for hours
The bib short dribble
Recharging batteries
Patchy Wi-fi
The sausage fest
Epic flatulence
The tedium of cleaning bikes
Lube (there is just never enough of it)
Wet feet
Cold feet
Wet shoes
Cold shoes
Numb penis
Bruised perineum (a.k.a. "taint")
Hurrying up and then waiting
The mad dash to get to a ferry
Missing a ferry
The difficulty of communicating with the outside world when strapped into the roadtrip vacuum.
Losing things
Sleeping in a new bed every night
Searching for the right place to get food
Eating bad food
Eating great food and realizing your own cooking needs work
Searching for beer
Running out of beer
Realizing you haven't drank enough water
Poorly-planned cycle routes through towns (Nanaimo)
Trying to navigate from a wet IPhone while wearing thick gloves
Apple Maps
Being chased by BOB all day long
Struggling to keep up with the itinerary that made perfect sense in the planning stages
Thinking you might stay on the road, forever
Knowing that it's days or perhaps weeks until you will be home in your own bed, eating your own food, on your own schedule.
Leaving places that you've fallen in love with
Knowing you have barely scratched the surface
Realizing that there really is no end to the search
Missing your loved ones, especially on Valentines day
Saying goodbye to new friends
Spending the time compiling a list of downers and realizing that you sound like a miserable, spoiled brat.

If truth be told, we would suffer any of these minor inconveniences a thousand times over if it meant we could experience the joys of the road.

Inside those shoes are some mighty numb toes.

Four-feet high waves of road snot.

Grinding paste.

One for the road.

Road crew blues.