By Seb Kemp
70 killed at Egyptian football match. 21 sentenced to death for it. 30 killed in subsequent riots. The Death Penalty there, working wonders.
— Simon Price (@simon_price01) January 26, 2013
Tit for tat, two wrongs don't make a right, and it's just a game, right?
Then while scrolling through the Twittersphere I saw the grim news that Josh Bender had died in a car crash.
This is the #joshbender story that’s floating about… Probably best to read the disclaimer at the bottom. …he.most.popular.biker.swellserver.com/news/top_stori…
— Ric McLaughlin (@RicMcLaughlin) January 25, 2013
Now, for anyone that was unaware of this hideous news, you should know this is somebody's heinous idea of humor at work here. It turns out that the "news source" this came from is utterly bogus. You fill in the blanks of a 'shocking news' template, share around the URL, and BINGO! every one of that person's family and friends have a heart attack when someone phones up saying "I'm so sorry to here of Josh's death".
I don't know what's more sick, the football game of death or the Internet game of fake deaths. The whole idea of faking the death of someone that wasn't really real in the first place is a bit odd (Josh Bender and The Josh Bender were different separate entities I'd be willing to argue). It certainly isn't that creative. Talking of creativity, watch this brilliant talk by John Cleese on creativity.
Brilliant speech on creativity by one of my favourites, John Cleese: youtube.com/watch?v=VShmts…
— Mike Berard (@mikeberard) January 24, 2013
Right, beyond the literal and counterfeit death of innocent (and not so innocent people), what about the metaphorical death of one of pop culture's most abominable prophylactic malfunctions.
Teen pop idols never die. They’re gradually unfollowed: Charlie Brooker on Justin Bieber gu.com/p/3dc6t/tw
— The Guardian (@guardian) January 27, 2013
Charlie Brooker, who is as frank with his observations about popular culture as he is funny, points out in this article that Justin Bieber, being one of Twitter's most followed celebs is likely to experience a whole different realm of hellish death.
"[B]ecause Justin Bieber has over 30 million followers on Twitter, it’s impossible for him to vanish gracefully. His fans can’t gently forget him over time. They have to actively delete him. If things go badly for him, a huge percentage of the Beliebers will presumably tap “unfollow” – not all at once, but over time."
The theme of the article is about the death of celebrity in front of the eyes and ears of millions. This death isn't a sudden death, which would be followed by sorrow, but rather the slow torture of someone that never really existed. More so, the torture isn't just of the celebrity, but rather the two-way torture of the former star and the one-time adoring fan. Rather than the life-force slowly leaking from the victim, it is the currency of fame that is drained, leaving not even a hollow sack of flesh, but just the bitter ghost of a better time.
Anyway, the article is incredibly funny and really does get to the heart of the matter concerning celeb death in the pocket glass screen world.
Still clever and somewhat funny, even though he is long dead, is Tommy Cooper…
I just got back from my best friend’s funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.
— Tommy Cooper (@TheTommyCooper) January 27, 2013